it’s time for leo dicaprio to give up on his acting career and open a coffee shop called Leonardo DiCappuccino
people that will always talk in caps with you are the best people because that means instant friendship
RIP to the thousands of turkeys being slaughtered in the name of “giving thanks” and “peace on earth”.
Go eat a canned tree and stop complaining *takes a bite off a juicy turkey leg*
have you ever had to restart a song because you spaced out and weren’t appreciating it enough
I just want Tumblr to know that I have never, not once, wanted to reblog a text post as a link.
why am i laughing
yoohoo big summer blow out
when you make a good comeback but then you stutter on the last word
"reblog if you’re not homophobic, keep scrolling if you are" is just tumblr’s equally irritating and pointless version of "share if u love god, ignore for satan"But I love Satan!
why cant your nose be 12 inches long?
because then it’ll be a foot
fun fact one time robert pattinson was supposed to get punk’d at the bar where my cousin works and they got all the employees in on it and everything but when it came time to punk him his friends couldn’t get him to leave his house and that’s when I knew I loved robert pattinson
never throw me anything unless you’re ok with it dropping
do you ever close a really important tab by accident and you just